From the Archives: Mr. Disappearing Act

This post is a little different, as it was written sometime last year before the inception of DTT6. However, in some kind of prospective hunch for what my future blog would look like, I had already titled it in the “Mr. ____” fashion. As such I felt the need to include it here, so please enjoy a little vintage Samantha in: My Open Letter to Mr. Disappearing Act.

downloadHey there,

How’s it going? Oh that’s good, glad to hear it. Yea…everything is great with me too. Just dandy actually, now that I’ve finally stopped thinking about why you blew me off  a few weeks ago . I’ve decided to write you an open letter in typical “elite daily” form, just to let you know that although you had apparently nothing to say to me, I have a few concluding remarks for you.

Back in September I decided not to focus on guys and just enjoy my last year at university. After all, come graduation I’ll be travelling for two months then immediately starting a full-time job, making this year the perfect time to just “do me”.  However, this turned out to be  much harder than anticipated given the fact that almost every. single. one. of my friends are in serious(ly awesome) relationships, and I’m running around trying to validate my singledom by hooking up with guys I’ll never see again. Despite hearing it from everyone else, you’d never expect it to be as damaging to your self-esteem as it turns out to be.

Anyway, then you came along offering a fun, no-strings attached kind of mutual understanding that I honestly thought was pretty great. I’d never casually dated before and I have to say the whole dynamic works for me. I was very up front with you when saying that I was not looking for anything serious, which is exactly what you said you wanted as well. So let me remind you that I never tried to be your girlfriend and that you were the one constantly messaging, snapchatting, and making it seem like you wanted more.

I am not a clingy person. I don’t need constant attention, am self-sufficient and hate being treated like a princess. In fact, I purposefully made sure not to be too distant so you’d know I was actually interested. And it worked, because for a while there we had a real connection. So what was really confusing was after almost a straight month of keeping in contact without being able to see each other, you decide to  “break us up” the same week we were supposed to hang out.

Was it the distance? Were you just not feeling it? Did you get bored? Because if you didn’t want to be with me that is honestly fine. I am not one of those people who says they want the truth but only if its sugar coated. Speaking of being truthful, I was also losing interest in you…until your little disappearing act. The distance was hard and keeping up a flirty and fun disposition 24/7 ain’t easy. Yet, in typical female fashion, getting rejected out of the blue made me so hung up on why. I wracked my brain for any and all explanations as to what could have changed over the course of 2 days. Finally I realized the futility in trying to read someone else’s mind, forcing me to accept this as just another one of life’s great, unanswerable mysteries .

I hope you realize that I am not petty in the slightest. The grown up thing would have been to have a two minute, semi-awkward conversation that would have left me feeling respected, instead of like the needy, clingy person that I’m not. But, if I’ve learned anything in 21 years it’s that life isn’t perfect. At least, at the end of the day, I walk away from this with the realization that I definitely won’t be treating others the way you treated me.

Wishing you the best,

Samantha

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