Mr. Benefits aka Mr. Hot and Cold

uber.jpgSamantha – This post is going to be rather short as not much has changed besides the way in which I will refer to this individual.

Henceforth, Mr. Hot and Cold will be known as Mr. Benefits, to reflect my view on our current”relationship”status. Very quickly, he went from being someone I had a real connection with, to a complete ass who disappeared without a trace, to nothing more than a semi-convenient booty call.  I originally thought about changing his name to Mr. Friends with Benefits but really, we’re not even friends ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Let me explain. Mr. Benefits and I have fallen into a pretty comfortable pattern that goes as follows:

  1. One of us messages the other to see what they’re doing that night
  2. I head to his place after our respective plans end
  3. We hook up
  4. I go home

The whole “let’s grab drinks and get to know each other” thing that we were doing has gone completely out the window. Which is really weird when you think about how infatuated I was after our first date. Like I wanted to legit date the guy….Well, infatuation is defined as intense but short-lived passion for a reason, as now I couldn’t care less if he messaged me with something as forward as “let’s bang”. Funny how things change.

There is actually one other development to our story line. This past weekend he invited me to over after quite a drunken night at the bar – on my part. I was waaaay too tired to go home after shenanigans ensued and ended up sleeping over…a cardinal booty call sin, I know.

As previously mentioned, Mr. Benefits has a loft bed, making getting up and down a huge mission. The morning after I was way too hungover/lazy/socially inept to climb up and hit my head on the roof AGAIN just to say goodbye. So, with him still half-asleep a couple feet overhead, I grabbed my things, called my trusty uber and headed for the door. He seemed completely taken aback by my quick departure (sorry babe, I’ve got things to do other than you) and even more surprised when I reached up for a quick high-five on my way out….A very classy move on my part if I do say so myself.

Honestly, I’m not all that down for whatever “this” is anymore, the random hook up is really just not worth the mission. But, I have a feeling that Drunk Samantha would probably disagree and  end up messaging him if I’ve got nothing else on the go…damn that horny betch.

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