An Ethical Question: Flirting for Free Food & Drink

Carrie – There are many perks to being single. Guilt-free fantasizing about that cute guy in your elevator or the Adonis of a delivery man who comes by your office for starters. Who knows, either of these options could become a possible love interest. Another pro is being courted. While I may turn down guys, I will never turn down an opportunity of free drink and food. In fact, I flirt for food.

My question is: Is flirting for free food and drink ethical? 


For a little backstory: I rush to a pre after work, jacket still smelling like the onion rings I was serving all day, only to discover my friend has roped me into her boyfriend’s friend’s small pre. By small, I mean a sausage fest of four guys, me and her… good ratios I suppose. I make the most of it, cracking jokes and getting tipsy off of free shots (1) before we head to Get Well (via an uber I didn’t pay for (2)) to play video games at the bar. Classic boy’s pick but as a former tomboy gamer, I didn’t mind.

If you’ve ever been to this venue, it is filled with tons of retro arcade games and a pizza parlour in the back. Right off the bat, one of the guys grabs me a beer (3). I thank him and tell him to find me for the next round which I’ll cover (he doesn’t and I don’t). We play on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles machine (4) near the back of the bar and the wafting scent of the pizza drifts towards us. I get the familiar pangs of ~drunk food hunger~. One of the guys (who had graciously switched controllers with me when mine was having some tech difficulties) offered me a slice and I happily obliged (5). Would I be the chubbier, Asian version of Carrie Bradshaw if I said no? Side note: he was also wearing a cardigan and it got me thinking that I’d be forever doomed to like preppy assholes.

We munch and chat and find our friends, one of whom forces me to wait in line with him while he watches me consume the slice in its entirety. Then a guy with a full pizza bumps into me and offers me a slice as an apology (6). I ditch my friend’s boyfriend in line at the thought of more cheesy kale.

The thing is, I am not interested in any of these guys. I know I am not but I can count six (6) times off-hand of free stuff handed to me, solely because I was a young, cute-ish, and most importantly, a SINGLE female.

Maybe I’m an asshole for using my feminine charm to elicit these offers or maybe I was just hanging out with super rich people on this particular night. Either way, is it ethical to accept these offers when you know you’re not interested in anything more with these guys? It’s not as if I was throwing my boobs on their pizza as a distraction but I think each of them thought there could be a spark between us, one that I wasn’t interested in pursuing.

I heard through the grapevine that one of the Mr. Pizza’s wanted my number and I might see him again this weekend. I honestly don’t know if I’m interested and that’s probably not the greatest sign… I am willing to explore this connection though, especially now that I know we have one thing in common: pizza.


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