Sick of men? Try women…

CITIZEN_VIBES_002This post, written by both Samantha and Stanford, were out and about in the 6ix on Saturday night and greatly inspired by a situation that transpired at the bar. No, it’s not about the men or the overpriced drinks (shout out to Carrie who got a $13 drink – tip: DO NOT have the bartender make a recommendation, you will definitely regret it) but rather it’s about the incredibly hilarious and candid conversation between two betches in the bathroom. We’re sure you’ve all been there and can remember similar encounters of your own, but what we heard on Saturday was too hilarious and inspiring not to share (…inspiring for our blog that is 😉 )

Let’s set the scene a little…Samantha, Carrie and Stanford head to the bathroom in a pack – as ladies often do – to freshen up. While there, Samantha and Stanford overheard a conversation and immediately looked at each other thinking the same thing: we have got to remember this for the blog. So, before discussing this wonderful convo, let’s share the notes we took verbatim from inside the bathroom. (Keep in mind, drunk note-taking is not my forte – Samantha)

Overheard in the citizen bathr
I thought my therapist was gay
You a. Switch teams, Samantha did it for a couple episodes
I’m gonna date women for a bit,,,for serious
No just for fun

This note really is a thing of poetry including metaphor, abbreviation and great liberties with sentence structure and punctuation. But for those of you not well-versed in drunk female, let’s clarify a little bit. The star of our story, a very pretty, very drunk blonde 20-something year old,  was dramatically complaining about men in a way we all so often do: I’m tired of tinder, men suck, I’m just going to give up and become a lesbian etc. etc. (Preach sista). She goes on to suggest that her therapist – reasons as to why she has a therapist remain unclear – is gay, and her friend immediately suggests making a move.

Good idea? At the time we didn’t even think about it, devoting all of our energy to this inebriated investigation and not drunkenly giggling too loudly. Let us tell you, these women were totally serious in their thinking that switching teams is 1. A choice and 2. Actually a good idea. Focusing on the latter,  these women in the Citizen bathroom were actually so turned off by men that it was a serious consideration to start browsing for women (SOS! please tell us the men in the 6ix aren’t so horrible that we’ll need to start dating each other). And they’re not just talking about any women, they’re talking about dating the woman who knows your deepest, darkest secrets and fears, your therapist. Sounds more like a nightmare than a happily ever after if you ask us.

Funnily enough, her friend ended up trying to convince her to go for the therapist by suggesting that it was a good idea because, hey, Samantha Jones did it for a couple episodes on SATC and she is clearly the epitome of an emotionally stable adult so why not copy her? Well, from the person emulating Samantha for the sake of this blog, let me tell you that her character is not the benchmark for healthy, adult relationships and shying away from love because you’re sick of getting hurt is only going to delay finding “The One” in the end. Also, maybe we should remind these women that Samantha on the show is not a real person. She is a character and while her sexual liberation is inspiring and encouraging, we wouldn’t base our life decisions off her ever erotic story line (i.e. switching teams). 

Overall the whole conversation was friggen hilarious. In keeping with my namesake, I – Samantha – must admit that I am not totally opposed to hooking up with a fellow female just for fun. In my opinion, often a hook up is just a hook up, so if there are no emotions involved I don’t see a problem with two willing parties having a good time, no matter the gender. (To each his..or her own..have fun – Stanford). HOWEVER, we agree that getting involved with YOUR THERAPIST is never a good idea, nor is becoming a “lesbian” because you’re having man troubles. Maybe instead of switching teams you can take a break from the game all together, grab a seat on the bench and rest up for the next round.

Clearly this was a very drunk conversation, we honestly couldn’t even decipher all the notes we took while in the bathroom. More than likely Blondie woke up the next day incredibly hungover but entirely straight. Nonetheless, we couldn’t help but enjoy the humour behind this conversation and also appreciate the fact that everyone in Toronto struggles with the same things that we do. Dating is hard, but it doesn’t matter if you’re a Samantha, Stanford, Carrie, Miranda or Charlotte, “no matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends”. (SATC, S2:E1, Take Me Out to the Ball Game) And we’re so glad to have each other ❤

 

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Why I need to break-up with Tinder

Once single I solemnly swore that there was no way that I would be jumping back on the Tinder bandwagon. For awhile I was doing great, but then fast forward 8 weeks, and 2 sick days later and TADA the app was back. At first it didn’t seem so bad, there were some cute nice guys in my area and I was getting a few matches. Needless to say, this distracted me from my strep throat, my “wtf, why am I suddenly really missing Mr. High School Crush” thoughts (I think it’s because I’m sick – and theory confirmed by Carrie who also expressed missing her ex sporadically as soon as she got sick post break-up), and gave me a break from binge-watching Netflix. It’s fun I thought, there’s no harm in it…tinder-logo

However, one or two (or maybe a couple hundred) swipes later, I found myself annoyed and irritated at the app, but still oddly and weirdly compulsively checking it. Now, as my friends know, I’ve been taking my dating advice from Aziz Ansari through his “Modern Romance” book (shameless promo for the book which is actually really good and surprisingly, seemingly too accurate to my life), and have been using him as my dating guide in a way. Aziz (through his book) empowered (maybe the wrong choice of words, but we’ll roll with it) me to re-download the app. How on earth can a book do this, you might ask, well let me tell you. Basically, as part of the book Aziz lets us know that we live in a strictly technological age (I mean so shit Sherlock), and that our whole life is consumed by technology – so what better way to find someone other than the platform that literally EVERYONE is on?! This technology thing starts getting weird too (ps. Sidestory: A guy in my section decided to ask me out but instead of in person where he sees me basically everyday, he proceeded to do so over instagram direct message – sorry what?) Aziz also makes it clear that now with technology, like everything else, we are so much more connected to so many people. Seems great right? Wrong. Aziz makes it clear that the  amount of options that we have is almost too overwhelming that it makes it so easy to say “next” to someone and not even bother to get to know them.

When I was swiping away, I thought about this in real time, mostly because I noticed how scarily quickly my fingers were swiping “left, left, left”, and I had barely made time to look at the guys profile. I don’t think that I’m a judgey person (for the most part), but on this app I turned into a complete and total judgey betch. I found myself swiping no for the stupidest reasons, I don’t like his name, his friend is cuter, he took a mirror selfie – and I felt totally validated and okay with doing it. Thinking like Aziz, I totally understood it and it finally clicked: we have so many options that we don’t get to know people because we don’t have to! Seems promising – what a fun time to be dating…(I hope you can pick up on my sarcasm)!

This leads me to my second problem with the app: I actually start feeling bad “ghosting” people, so even though I have zero interest in talking to them, I find myself engaging in so many conversations and giving out my number just because I feel too rude to say no (As the archived posts in this blog show me – ghosting is a new trend that doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere, and I think all the daters can unanimously agree that it sucks). Lucky for me, I have been using my strep throat as an excuse to push away any guys who have cut right to the chase and asked for a date, but it’s also just as annoying to engage in the same “small talk” conversations at least 20 times. It used to be flattering to get the attention of the guys who want to talk to you, but now it just seems redundant and impersonal, and maybe that’s why it’s totally un-engaging.  Kudos to the guys who start with creative lines, and some of them honestly and truly do make me laugh, but there’s only so many generic conversations you can end up in before you do it mindlessly – and that is a clear sign of a connection lost before it even started. Is it possible to find prince charming if you’re bored of him before you even meet?!

The second issue with ghosting is getting ghosted – maybe that’s why I don’t like to do it to other people, is because it’s not fun when it happens to you! For example: I was chatting a cute guy on bumble, had a clever opening line and we exchanged a few messages before HE said that he wanted to hang out. Okay I thought, I’m not bored of him, (that’s a good sign), so I went with it and agreed – and all of a sudden he was gone! So confusing to say the least, but also annoying to get “invested” in someone and them just to disappear!

So I tried as a single girl to jump back on Tinder, (and other dating apps) and as quickly as I got on – I’m jumping right back off (and hiding under a rock). I can almost guarantee that come the next time I’m bored or lonely or find myself randomly missing my ex, I’ll be downloading an app right back thinking maybe this time it will be different. I guess you can say that tinder and I (along with many other people I suspect), are in a love-hate relationship, but I think it might be time for us to break up (and hopefully for good!)

The Versatile Blogger Award

Last week we were nominated by Hookup Culture for the Versatile Blogger Award! Thank you so much for the nomination! We love your blog and are so glad you like ours too 🙂 (Rules for nominees at the bottom of the page)

7 Facts about us:

  1. Our origin story: Samantha, Stanford and Carrie went to high school together, Stanford and Carrie also went to university together while Samantha and Charlotte were roommates at university for four years. Miranda and Samantha met at work and started DTT6 to replace the post-shenaniganry coffee updates taking place all too frequently.
  2. Charlotte has a photographic memory….when it comes to memorizing shopping malls and online inventories.
  3. Samantha can name the winner of every season of survivor (and is very proud of this fact)
  4. Miranda‘s sneezes are so loudly she could both wake the dead and scare the living half to death.
  5. Carrie has never had the chicken pox so don’t expect any dates with her to be anywhere near a coop or a farm.
  6. Stanford can say the entire alphabet backwards.
  7. The five of us have never been in the same room all at the same time.

We are nominated the following awesome blogs that we love and know you will too.

Cat in the Cactus

50(+) First Dates

Suzie the Single Dating Diva

Ordinary Adventures

Fatty McCupcakes

What are you still doing here? Go check them out!

Rules

  1. Thank the person that nominated you and include a link to their blog.
  2. Nominate at least 15 bloggers of your choice. When considering a fellow blogger for the Versatile Blogger Award, keep in mind the quality of their writing, the uniqueness of their subject matter and the level of love displayed on the virtual page.
  3. Link your nominees and let them know about their nomination.
  4. Share seven facts about yourself.