6’ixin like a Vixen

Miranda here. Remember me? I’ve been MIA for a solid 8 months on this blog and I apologize profusely for that. Long story short- I took a 6 month hiatus from dating in general to focus on myself. There aren’t many stories to share other than a random hookup or two from a night out. However, just over a month ago I finally decided it was time to get back into the game the only way I really know how: Tinder.

I went on a couple dates and met a guy who I really liked but that ended just as quickly as it came (in typical Miranda fashion). Though, that can be a story for another time as the focal point of this post is what happened after and how I dealt with it. I was feeling pretty shitty and was trying to figure out the best way to recover. Cue the following weekend where for once in my life I had no solid evening plan which, if you know me personally, is a rarity as a self-proclaimed planning queen. I contemplated forcing plans onto friends to keep myself busy but then I was hit with a brilliant yet very un-Miranda-like plan. I decided this weekend would be for myself, by myself.

I was going to go out on my own Saturday night.

Yep, you read that right. A 20-something year old single girl going out in the 6ix alone. Sounds like a recipe for disaster? Probably but thank god those fears didn’t stop me.

I downed 2.5 drinks before I left for the night just to get a subtle buzz going and for liquid courage purposes. I then headed over to a neighbourhood dive bar where I was sure to meet interesting people. I walked in and it was disappointingly empty but I took a deep breath and sat at the empty bar and ordered myself a drink. 10 minutes in I had struck up casual conversation with the bartender/owner and the seats on other side of me were filled by two older men that seemed to be regulars of the establishment. I mustered up the courage and started speaking to both of them (neither of which I was actually interested in). You see, the goal of the night wasn’t necessarily to meet a guy to hook up with, but to learn to socialize with others without the social reliance of friends. I had some interesting conversations and learned that as my drunkenness progressed, it was time to get out of the dive bar and into an environment where I could dance.

I walked down the street to my favourite resto-bar and headed straight to the bar. Here, the men were much more attentive to me and I quickly received a few offers to do shots with them, which I happily obliged. But the night was young and I still wanted to dance and not get tied down to any guy so early on in the night, so I said my goodbyes and headed to the dance floor. Dancing on your own is a peculiar thing. It’s exhilarating and freeing, and I highly recommend more people to do it outside of the confines of their bedroom. Later on, I met a few more people and remained talking and dancing with them for the rest of the night. It was awesome witnessing so many strangers coming together and engaging like they had been friends forever when in fact their only commonality was the love of booze and conversation.  I left the bar with free drinks in my stomach and two slices of pizza in my hands – which in my drunken eyes is always the sign of a good night.

I know it might seem a bit strange and erratic for any young woman to do something like this. Typically you hear of older lonely men hitting up bars on their own and being complete creeps. But it’s time to recognize that this is definitely an option for us. Trust me, I was a bit nervous going into it but I knew I had to do it for me. I was surprised how open people were to talking to me, and although some thought it was unusual it didn’t stop them from being friendly. It didn’t hurt that I was wearing a conversation inducing outfit either ;).

Key takeaway: if you’ve ever craved to go out alone and do your own thing go for it! Screw social norms and what’s expected of us – if you want to have fun and be the best version of you, there’s no one stopping you but yourself.  It was an amazing and enlightening experience for me and definitely not the last time I’ll do this. It pushed me to socialize on a whole other level and to be content just being on my own. My only advice is to walk into the night with an open mind, be careful and tell some friends where you’ll be, and drink in moderation.

Make the 6ix your oyster!

If you try this out, please share your experience with us in the comments below!

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Remembering Mr. Adventure  

 

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Charlotte – Most of us go through our fair share of guys and gals before finding “the one”. We hop from one to the next but never take a moment to be thankful for our experiences with each. Maybe he was a shit kisser but made you laugh a lot. Maybe it didn’t “click” but he taught you something new. Maybe he made too many jokes but he had the perfect smile.

I had previously written a different post about Mr. Adventure. I was going to talk about our date, the fact that he was absolutely wild but also incredibly romantic. I still intend to, but this post isn’t about the date, it’s an opportunity to reminisce and appreciate the person. Just this week I got the news that this wonderful daredevil had pushed life’s boundaries just a little too far. This week we lost someone I regret not appreciating more while he was in my life.

On August 7 th, 2015 I went on a date with Mr. Adventure. He had tried to make plans with me multiple times before but I wasn’t into it. He was a couple years younger and I didn’t think it would work out. But finally I caved.

I thought it was going to be an early date, so when he didn’t call me until 9:00pm I was pretty pissed – I didn’t even want to go on this thing, but I’m so grateful I did. Just like him, this date was not ordinary, and surpassed every expectation I could have contemplated.

He picked me up and we drove to a forest a little north from our area. We hiked through the woods until we got to a fire pit he had made with his friends. He built a fire and we sat around for hours talking about life. He even brought towels for us to sit on and marshmallows to roast. He was a hopeless romantic and had this way of making everyone around him feel so special. Not because of some ulterior motive, but rather he genuinely saw the specialness of every individual. You could talk to this guy forever and about anything. He was wise beyond his years, lived every day like it was his last and his goals surpassed what anyone could accomplish in one lifetime but he was on his way of achieving all of them.

His sense of adventure was contagious; his confidence was reassuring. He could convince you to overcome your greatest fears because you knew that with him there were no boundaries, no concept of fear, no limitations as to what you could do. He somehow got me to climb a tree in the middle of the night so that I could overlook the lake ahead. I could barely see how to make my next step so I relied on him to walk me through the climb. I had to talk him out of jumping in but had I not been there he’d be in the water in a heartbeat.

After hours of taking in the perfect night with a wonderful human being it was time to go. I didn’t know whether it was the fire, the time of night or the aggressive make out session but I was exhausted. While driving back I had fallen asleep in his car to wake up not at my own home but rather his. He decided he wanted to drive me home on his motorcycle and when Mr. Adventure had an idea it was hard to change his mind.

We swapped the keys and I got on that bike. I swear that was the first and last motorcycle I will ever ride. The next 15 minutes felt like forever. Even his presence didn’t calm my nerves. I’ve never been so afraid but looking at his face he seemed so calm and happy. Yes, he was a daredevil. Yes, he liked to partake in some inherently risky activities.  But he was not afraid of consequences because he believed in living for today and not tomorrow. Maybe his sense of adventure got the best of him but I have no doubt that while he was flying through the roads on his bike he had that feeling of serenity and his signature grin from ear to ear.

I won’t be getting date number two with Mr. Adventure but I will never forget that child like appreciation yet mature understanding of life that he brilliantly balanced. I will strive to extend a greater amount of appreciation to those around me, to face my fears and take chances. To live adventurously and to welcome every opportunity and challenge that comes my way. To value those who come into my life, no matter how short of a period they stay.