Mr. Love You, Love You Not

Carrie – On the advice of my friends Pam and Sam, I’ve started to watch Jane the Virgin. 15 episodes in one day later (I’ve had a very relaxing holiday season, okay?), young Jane asks her mom “what does love feel like?”

Jane’s question inspired me to try to encapsulate my answers in a blog post. So also on strongly-worded suggestions from Pam and Sam, I’ve decided to finally write this blog that I’ve been putting off: the “I’m finally in a relationship again and I’m not sure if I’m in love” post.

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There are definitely benefits to being in a serious relationship again and more importantly, committing to someone you really care about. I’ve got a cute, beardy, genuinely nice guy from small-town Manitoba (SO not 6ix) who not only texts me back but calls me first; someone who has got his shit together; moreso than me, with a job, car, and no insane amounts of debt (thanks #lawschool). Bonus: he’s got two eyebrows! (see Mr. Unibrow). He is quick-witted; he remembers minute details like when I randomly told him I hated the taste of Dasani water and weeks later, he grabbed me an Aquafina bottle at the gas station; and my brain’s dopamine levels probably go off the charts when I see him calling my phone. It’s for sure the most mature relationship I’ve been in, with someone who is willing to talk about our issues, own up, and apologize (cause he’s the one who’s always wrong).

But sometimes I have nagging single-girl tendencies that come creeping up from the depths of my subconscious.

  • For example, gone are the days of the stints of dry spells; I have a consistent sex-source. (But also my only sex source.)
  • No longer do I have to worry about finding someone who’s down to Netflix with me on a Friday night in the -30 weather when I don’t feel like going out, I’ve got a go-to cuddle buddy. (But sometimes I miss regaling my girlfriends with stories of the latest fuckbois over brunch.)

I’m not sure what I was waiting for. I mean that in two ways. Firstly, I don’t know why I made such a big deal of holding out for my tenth kill. In fact, it was putting myself out there back on the Tinder grind full-throttle led me to Mr. LY/LYN. And now, with the thought of being tied down again, I wonder if I did myself a disservice to not have “lived” a little more while I’m still in my prime (I am convinced I peaked in fourth year).

But secondly, and maybe more curiously, I mean holding off this blog post. Is it my need to have the holistic picture after the end of relationships to be able to write about it? Is it my fear of publicizing my rejection online if/when things inevitably come to an end? Is it my perpetual mode to be cynical?

So here is my attempt to Be Brave and write about the thing that scares me the most: have I fallen in love again?

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“What does love feel like? How do you know for sure you’re in love?”

While Jane’s mother responds, “it sort of feels like your heart is glowing,” I find this very unhelpful in terms of practical assessment. If I were writing on the show, I would say there should be:

Continue reading “Mr. Love You, Love You Not”

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Mr. Brazil

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Carrie – So after three months off of the dating app game, I found that my dating game had gone seriously downhill as well. There were a couple of guys here and there, but nothing that panned out and nothing I was excited about. I downloaded Happn because I thought it was the closest dating app that paralleled meeting someone in real life and in fact, I’ve had many an awkward run in with people on the app that I subway home with on the daily. Added bonus: I knew that Mr. Namaste was on it and things were either gonna “Happn” between us or not but I really needed to get over my little yoga crush. We matched. I messaged him “hey stranger, see you in class” (He didn’t respond. I haven’t seen him in class. I’m sure it’ll be awkward when we do. Nothing happened. I’m over it.)

It’s also the most overwhelming dating app for someone who is just getting back in the game. Your options are presented to you all at once, it tells you how many times you two have “crossed paths” and even narrows it down to the exact location. It’s tough to make a splash because unlike Tinder or Bumble or other swiping apps, the spotlight isn’t on your profile and guys don’t need to decide via swipe one way or another. Instead, your profile (aka your main picture) has to be attracting enough for someone to notice you out of the four options available on the screen. As a chick who is often picked somewhere in the middle of the pack when captains are choosing their sports teams, it seemed daunting to get anyone to match me.

Continue reading “Mr. Brazil”

Mr. Three Night Stand

Samantha – Ok, so I’m not going to pretend that I need to wined and dined by every guy I meet…sometimes you want a guy for just one thing. Or in this case, three one-things. I hooked up with this guy that I went to school with back in March after a drunken night at the bar. It was no big deal and we both went on with our lives in a normal fashion. The only out of the ordinary aspect about the scenario is the way in which I went about ascertaining the hook up:

Drunk Samantha: “Let’s go back to my place” (I was not this classy in person)
Him: “Ok.”

Romantic stuff, I know. Anyway, because we’re in the same group of friends I get a lot of shit for that night and the classy conduct displayed by all. So, when I went to visit my friends still at school and he happened to be there, comments were made. Following the comments came some drinking, which was followed by more drinking, which ended with repeating my “one night stand”. And a few weeks later, one more time.

I won’t go into the details – this is not that kind of blog – but I will say that unlike my previous posts in this series, this was not part of my epic quest to find “the one”. However, also unlike my other posts, I actually got something out of this encounter, so I guess a one night stand will just have to suffice for now!

Mr. Pen Pal Only

Samantha – I’ll keep this post short and sweet because unfortunately our date was quite the opposite. I met this guy (again from Tinder) after work one day and was looking forward to it as we’d had some pretty solid virtual conversations. When he arrived I immediately noticed two things. 1) He was SIGNIFICANTLY shorter than me – this is when I learned to ask for heights PRE-date and 2) he was nothing like his online persona. Unlike our virtual chats, face-to-face we had so much trouble keeping a convo going and really had nothing to talk about. This was surprising, as usually I can’t stop talking and ramble on about the same amount as two normal people would on any given day. But this time, nothing but crickets and our two hour date felt more like two long, drawn out years. Example of my solid attempt at open-ended questioning:

S: “What kind of music do you listen to?”
Date: “A lot of different things.”
S: “Cool, what’s your favourite?”
Date: “I don’t know, hard to pick.”
S: “…”

EXCUSE ME SIR, CAN YOU NOT TELL I AM TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION HERE?

The ONLY thing we could agree upon was how crappy it is to commute downtown every day because lucky for me, we take the same route home. After giving this guy a concerted effort and far more energy than I had to expend, I gave up entirely on trying to converse and just sat in silence waiting for my stop. That night he texted me asking when he’d see me next, but needless to say, that day has yet to come.