Now that I am #singlewildandfree, and am excited to date through the six, I have come to the conclusion that I am now a dating rookie. Being with Mr.High School Crush for over two and a half years has left me off the market, and consequently removing flirting, swiping and casually hooking up – which is now territory that I am (soon to be) exploring
As a recently single woman, I must say that I’ve never been more excited. I mean, what are your early twenties for if not to make mistakes, have fun, kiss a few frogs (hopefully not too many) and one day (way later) find the prince. There were a few big factors that pushed me to the single side, notably the uncertainty of my future, and what I have coined the “musical chairs dilemma”: that sure, it seems like there’s lots of ‘chairs’ now and having one to sit in is great, but if you don’t want to sit in that chair for the rest of your life – it’s better to keep walking and looking for that chair you do love before it gets scooped up by someone else. Maybe it’s just an analogy that makes sense to me, but hopefully you can semi understand what I’m saying. That being said, I’m now walking around to the music and just scoping out the “chairs”( p.s. chairs is my metaphor for men). As I’m walking, and living the single life I have just a few questions to ponder (and if anyone knows any answers, that would be muchos appreciated), consider this my dating SOS.
- Are all dates going to be “Netflix and Chill?”
If the archived posts in this blog do not emphasize my concern, I’ll repeat it: do guys only want sex? I mean, I’m definitely not in the market for looking for a new boyfriend, but I’m also not looking for a one night stand. In the ideal world, finding a guy to go for some dinner dates, do some activities and THEN Netflix and chill would be great. Just curious if these types of guys actually exist, or if I’m in for a reality check.
- Where do you even meet these guys?!
Sucks for me, but I’ve already used my “tinder boyfriend” card, and feel a little weird about swiping again (I mean explaining it once was embarrassing, but kinda funny, but TWICE – maybe that would be a cause for concern). Mabye it’s the fact that I try to model my life after a Rom-com and expect my own John Cusack to find my number in my favourite book, the day that he is supposed to marry someone else (Serendipity reference – great movie) – but I want to have the “wow” moment. The convenience of tinder does have its draw, but meeting someone at a coffee shop, or walking the dog seems so much more romantic – but does that actually happen? Am I crazy to think that life will have the super cute guy that will be my next boyfriend waiting for me at a coffee shop, or is it more likely that he’s only a swipe right away?
- Is there a competition with my EX to find someone new faster?
Okay, I get it that this is kind of lame, and probably convinces everyone that I am not actually over it (I swear I am), but is it so wrong to want to find someone before he does? I mean if he moves on first, does that mean he’s over me and uh-oh if that sets me back, is it true that you always want what you can’t have?! Let’s hope not!
- How soon is too soon?
By this question I mean a few things, and each is making single me confused as hell! How soon is too soon to move on to a new fling/relationship/hookup. I know that there’s “rules” to getting over a break up (e.g. it should take half the time to move on to the next one), but what REALLY is acceptable aka when am I not a total beeyotch for texting or hooking up with someone new. That being said, how soon is too soon to hook up? I mean, after 2.5 years of being in a relationship, this single life also equates to a dry spell, and I’m not sure how long I can last – but I also don’t know how comfortable I am giving off the one-night-stand/hook-up only vibe. This struggle is seriously real.
- Will I EVER find another boyfriend?
Again, I’m not looking now, and I’m actually excited to do the whole casual thing but one day I’m going to want to not just date but be in a relationship. I’ve learned so much from my last relationship, that I now know what more I want, and also my absolute dealbreakers. I think I was picky before, but now I’m picky and certain about the qualities that make someone “boyfriend material”.
These are just some of the questions just pop into my mind as I begin my journey dating through the six. I’ve been out of the game for so long, and have wheels like a boat (you’ll laugh when you get it), so I’m sending out a serious SOS. There you have it – my dating anxieties, mind you, this is before I even start actually dating, so anticipate more questions and vents to help me learn to navigate this new found dating life in the six!