When we think of “the one who got away” we tend to be overtaken by feelings of remorse and regret. Instead, shouldn’t we be thankful we got out in a timely fashion?
I dated this guy for only a couple months, but for whatever reason it seems more like years. It started in my senior year of high school. There was this attractive guy who I eyed from a far but didn’t think he was interested. During a weekend getaway, he was the top pick on every girl’s hit list but I’m the one who caught him. We spent all weekend together and those three days may have been some of the happiest I’ve ever experienced.
It was so good that we decided, fuck it, we’ll take it back to the city. He was a year younger and I was going to university the following September. Simply put, shit didn’t work out, I was crushed and spent a year trying to get over him.
How could something that lasted a couple months fuck me up so badly?
- He kept re-appearing. Girls, if he keeps telling you – how important you are to him and how he wants to make your “friendship” work but then calls you in the middle of the night to profess his feelings… STOP ANSWERING. You’ll wake up with butterflies going “OMG HE WANTS ME BACK!”. Conversely, he’ll wake up with a hangover and little memory of what he said. So while your heart is fluttering and you’re on cloud 9, that jerk is lying in bed trying to piece together how many beers he pounded last night.
- He became untouchable. So you’re finally getting over him. You deleted him from facebook, Instagram and even snap chat. You’re back in the dating game and are wheeling some hotties. You’re so over him it’s not even funny. So you add him back. Why the fuck not? He wants to be friends and now that your feelings are gone you don’t see why you wouldn’t give friendship a try. You get into a relationship… he gets into a relationship. It’s all good, you guys are moving on. But every time you see his name it feels like someone punched you in the gut. Now that he’s back in your life through social media you get a message every so often. And every time you see that fuckers face you still want to jump him.
It’s been four years now since we dated and I think that I finally am starting to appreciate the fact that we’re over. The fact that you still snap me every so often, even if it is to “be friendly” probably wouldn’t go down too well with your girlfriend. I’ve also come to terms that I deserve to be with someone who wants to be with me… no excuses. Being with someone should be simple: A meets B. A likes B. A goes for B. B says OKAY. A and B make sexy babies. DONE (plus a few steps in between but I think I got what was important).
So if a guy is complicating a simple formula requiring two factors by adding in a bunch of other bullshit… then be grateful that someone took him off your hands. Love is worth working for, not losing your mind over. Appreciate the people who have come into your life and also appreciate the those who left to make room for better ones.