Internal Affairs: Mr. Man

This is a post about nothing. Well, not nothing per say, but it’s pretty much a nothing that I hope turns into a something.
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Let’s flash back about a month or so. It’s the end of July, the dog days of summer are upon us and Samantha is feeling randy and restless.  Having been occupied text-ually (sexual/texting hybrid, copyright ME) by UK Bae and Senor San Fran for the majority of June, I hadn’t been on the hunt for a summer fling like I normally would be. But by July I’d shed myself of the international baggage and was open to something new and a little more local.

Cue Mr. Man, as he can only be described, because that is exactly what he is…a man. In particular, a 6″4, good looking, snappy dressing, EXECUTIVE IN MY OFFICE, 41 year old man…I’m in trouble.

It all started at an office karaoke night when I walked up to Mr. Man standing with my friend Adam and he offered to buy me a drink. Adam thought he was hitting on me and quickly made himself scarce. Truthfully, the drinks were $3 and I think he was just being friendly, but we chatted briefly until the convo lost steam and then parted ways. Innocuous enough.

The next night I attended another work friend’s 40th birthday party, because I’m seeeewww matoor with my many older friends. I show up and see a couple familiar faces, including Mr. Man’s. I didn’t think anything of the night prior but then he came up to chat to me, then again and then a third time…until all of a sudden he was ready to leave. In classic Samantha style I had just taken a huge bite of a caprese salad (which was really just cheese and basil on top of a tomato) and as I bit into it the tomato juice ran all down my hand. It was at this very moment that Mr. Man came over to say goodbye. Before I could do anything he had clasped my hands between his and I could FEEL the wet, tomato-ey slime smooshed between us as he looked into my eyes and told me that he’d see me soon.  Romance amirite? There’s NO WAY he didn’t feel it and I can only imagine that my face resembled the colour of the fruit that was responsible for my shame.

The following Monday I shared the details of the tomato story with Adam, who validated that yes, I am a total embarrassment. When he asked if there was a vibe between us I said that I had totally felt a spark, but how often do karaoke work nights and friends’ 40th bdays coincide? Thinking this was likely a one off I didn’t give it much thought.

That Thursday I had organized after work drinks with some friends and ran into Mr. Man on our way out the door. He joined us for the drinks and this is where things (thankfully) progressed past tomato fingers. We talked alllllll night long and as the number of people at drinks dwindled we showed no sign of stopping. Soon enough only the two of us were left chatting comfortably at the bar. Eventually he asked “So what do you want to do?” To which I responded “Well I guess we should head home”. He replied “I meant with your life, but ya sure”. He paid our bill and we headed out, walking home in the same direction. 5 minutes down the road we passed another bar and he asked if I wanted to go in. Hell yes I did. I was squealing (internally) at the ridiculousness of the situation, feeling like the star of some over the top, cheesy romcom that ends with a steamy affair in a fancy boardroom – well, that was my hope for our ending anyway.

We spent the next two hours at the new bar enjoying ourselves and discussing everything under the sun. Honestly, if it had been a legitimate date it would’ve been one of the best I’d been on in a friggen long time. At one point he even said “I’ve asked you all my first date questions” as we’d veered FAR from work-related topics. Not once did it feel weird that there is a significant age gap between us or did he act like a condescending executive. In fact, we had a chemistry and banter that I know from going on my fair share of dates is not something you can force, it’s either there or it’s not…and boy was it was there. To me, the air felt electric and it was a very unusual and exciting feeling.

The night ended with a short lived visit to his apartment…it’s a gorgeous place with an incredible view of the city and I couldn’t believe the situation I had found myself in. As I stood nervously on his balcony looking anywhere but his eyes he asked if I wanted anything, and OMG did I ever…I couldn’t very well ask for what I actually wanted so instead I told him that I had an important meeting the following day (which I did) and as it was already past midnight we hugged goodbye and that was that. TRAGIC.

Since that night I have developed a crush in every sense of the word. We spend a ton of time together during work, sometimes playing hooky for hours at a time to “discuss my resume” (with 5 minutes dedicated to productivity and the rest reserved for shooting the shit). I even went on an almost 3 week trip to South America (see Unluck of the Irish and Mr. Laid in the Loo) but the day I got back we spent all afternoon chatting about dating and relationships. We click soooo well it’s insane and I am ridiculously attracted to him. As someone who is usually quick to jump the gun and get a guy in bed the tension is legit killing me and makes me want him 1000x more. I’ve even tried to distract myself by going out with other men but have only reaffirmed that my spark with Mr. Man feels more like lightening compared to first date static electricity.

All this being said I have a sneaking suspicion that this “thing” is going nowhere. It seems completely evident to me (and to Adam, who knows every detail of this little affair) that there is some sort of attraction here but maybe my crush is clouding my judgment. After all, I am a normal woman with a very active set of hormones, so whenever we speak rationality flies out the window and all my thoughts are replaced with “TAKE ME NOW”. Perhaps we actually have a 90% professional relationship and the cheesy romcom I referred to earlier is no more than a fictitious daydream perpetuated by workplace boredom and fifty shades fantasies…I mean, I definitely toe the line between what is appropriate and what is very much not but I doubt he’s going to cross it. Maybe it’s that I’m fifteen years younger, maybe it’s that he’s an exec and I’m far from it or maybe it’s something else entirely…whatever the reason I can’t see a scenario in which this ends with a bang instead of a bust.

End of the day I have no complaints. Despite the fact that I will probably come out of this looking like a silly little girl crushing on the handsome older man, it’s kinda fun being all consumed in this way and I haven’t actually had interest in someone for a long time. I have no idea how things will end up but the one thing I can guarantee is that I’ll be here to document it all, the good, the bad and the downright embarrasing.

You know you love me, xoxo…Samantha Jones.

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Our Two Cents- Workplace Dating: the good, the bad and the just plain awkward

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So this installment of “Our Two Sense” is a little different in that we’re not using a base post but instead decided to write our own from scratch. Actually, we wrote it on our internal work messaging system since we no longer work in the same building. We’re not too sure how it’ll turn out but stick with us, we’re hoping for the best!

Our Two Sense – Workplace Dating: the good, the bad and the just plain awkward

OurTwoSense

Samantha
Miranda

OK, so I really want to talk about office relationships because well, for starters, Miranda and I are co-workers so it seemed like a natural fit. Second, as we spend the majority of our lives in an office building (how depressing is that), it seems likely that this topic would come up once or twice between the start of our careers and the eventual day we retire.

Definitely. it’s inevitable and not a matter of if, but when it’ll happen. The work relationships that we refer to can be a myriad of things. It could be as simple as a work hubby, a full-fledged relationship or even an affair. 

Let’s start with the idea of a work hubby, because I am totally into this idea and can see this as the easiest work place relationship trope to fall into. What do you define as a work husband?

In my eyes, the work hubby is a crush or flirtation you have at work, but only at work. You have a good time talking or fantasizing about what could be but when you go home they’re outta sight outta mind. 

Fantasizing eh, that goes even further than what I think of it. For me, it’s someone you get along with really well who’s fun to flirt with, but that’s it.

Hahaha you know me. I have a tendancy to dramatize situations. Even people in relationships joke about work hubbies/work wifies. It doesn’t mean anything but it helps keep you a bit entertained. 

Yup, I mean something’s gotta get you through dreadful Tuesday afternoons.

Hmmm so what else is there? What about the classic work crush. This can be a dangerous area to delve into, especially when the crush is only one way.

Omg we have totally seen that in our office haven’t we…

Yes we have. I have had the unfortunate experience of being on the receiving end of this form of a crush. It was a very distinct variation of it, but a crush nonetheless. 

HOLD ON. I was thinking of Mark* and Jen*! Are you talking about your other thing?

Ya…

Haha my god this is perfect. Just look at how common work place crushes can be. We bring up the topic and already were thinking of two completely different examples. In fact, if you count the random guy who always asks me to do crosswords with him or to go for lunch then that is three examples right off the bat!! Whew, ok….hilarious. Moving on.

Ok, basically this guy on my team, Ben*, was pursuing me for the better half of a year. It has gone way beyond work hubby and has continued outside of work as a texting relationship. The only problem with this whole thing is that he actually has a fiancé that he’s planning on marrying this year. 

Absolutely mental…Yep, I definitely remember this story. Go on.

Ya, not sure how I got myself in this one. Anyway, I had just joined the company and Ben was the youngest person on my team (other than me) and I guess we struck up some kind of friendship. It was nice having him to talk to but I think he saw it differently. One night we were texting and I may have been a bit drunk lamenting over my love life and said something along the lines of “duck i’m horny” (autocorrect, am I right?). Ben took the opportunity to ask me if I needed any help with that, and it all went downhill from there. 

So, ya that’s another type of work relationship that you really DON’T want to have. 

I totally agree. Mixing business with pleasure, especially with that close proximity is a recipe for disaster. 

Totally. I would recommend avoiding it as much as possible. 

But as you were saying Samantha, we do have two friends that have their own sort of work relationship. Care to explain to our lovely readers?

Hold up honey, you think I’m letting you off the hook. How did this unfortunate incident end?

Haha fine. You got me. After I freaked out for a bit, try a lot, I probed him more and found out that he and his fiancé have an open relationship that allows him to pursue other women on the side. I think eventually he would bring them in for a threesome but apparently she is fine with him sleeping around even though she has no desire to do it herself. He seemed to think that I was a good candidate for all of this and even after my repeated NO’s he was still quite persistent. Now we’re in a good position as just friends, but it took a long while for him to finally get the clue. 

Let’s be real, this could’ve been at least a couple posts on its own.

Yes it could. And maybe it will! Once I sit down and have the patience to write it.

So let’s talk about the one-sided relationship that we unintentionally became involved with, Mark and Jen. Now, although Jen rarely admits it, she fully has a “thing” for Mark where she thinks he’s cute or whatever and he definitely knows it. Hell, we all know it. Mark kind of takes advantage of this and flirts right back, toying with her. But you can’t really blame him all that much. Who doesn’t like attention right? Well, after a couple work socials involving a lot of intoxication and some really inappropriate comments, a HUGE game of “he said, she said” ensued where both sides had a completely different story of how it all went down. Eventually they pretended like it never happened and even tried to form a friendship, but it was super awkward for us. We saw how lopsided the whole thing was and we knew it would be a bad idea to get wrapped up in the whole mess. 

Ya…That was a scenario and a half. In fact, I don’t think it’s over quite yet. They still have their little comments made here and there and at this point, they don’t even try to hide it. It’s pretty entertaining to watch from the sidelines.

Uch you say entertaining, I say obnoxious.

But what if you work in a massive company? Does that still count? Sure, maybe you bump into each other once in a while, but if you don’t work with them directly, I could definitely see it as a feasible possibility.

No no, don’t get me wrong it is still a huge possibility, especially if there is distance. It just seems like adding another complication to an over-complicated issue.

I wouldn’t be opposed to a relationship with someone at work if it was done in that way, I think. It’s still not ideal but a lot of the prime male real estate is in the financial district of the 6ix, aka where we work.

You’re 110% right about that girlfriend. The PATH is filled with hotties, there is really no point of swiping anywhere other than the Starbucks in First Canadian Place.

And hey, it does sometimes work. The girl who sits at the desk beside mine met her boyfriend of 4 years while working together. So I guess it is possible, I’m probably just too much of a spaz to make it work…at work.

ON THE OTHER HAND, it is totally a fantasy of mine to bang at the office. 

Ok, a straight up hookup is what I think is super dangerous. That’s where rumours spread and bad things can happen immediately. But yes, that’s totally hot in concept. Up against the executive table or facing the floor to ceiling windows of the 6ix…similar to your saucy story about “Mr. Views” if I recall. 

You know me well. If he added a boardroom table to his apartment I’d be sold. Till then I’ll try find an executive at a DIFFERENT companies, so I can screw without getting screwed.

I see what you did there, you cheeky girl. That’s a definite strategy. Well, this discussion was totally all over the place…

Seriously, there is clearly just so much to talk about, but we tried to at least touch upon a bunch of different topics.

It’s true, so let’s turn now to our trusty audience. Would you guys want to see more posts like this? Did you like the old format more? What would you like us to give our two sense about…let us know in the comment section below and we’ll be sure to incorporate your feedback.

Later days, I’m out to bag a business man :*

 

 

*names changed to protect identites because…duh.